When Your Partner Won’t Set Limits With Their Own Family
You love your partner. But some days you wonder if you married them or their entire family. And when the couple is Brazilian-American, this fight is almost never just about the in-laws. The mother-in-law who shows up unannounced on a Saturday morning. The father-in-law who weighs in on how you two spend your own money. […]
The Translation No One Teaches You: Jealousy, Bluntness, and Misunderstanding
He wasn’t flirting. She isn’t insecure without reason. Both of them are right — they’re just reading each other through the ruler of their own culture. And that’s exactly where the problem lives. I’ve worked with a couple where the American spouse is naturally friendly — easy smile, asks the waitress how her day is […]
The 5 Love Languages for Intercultural Couples
One cooks in silence; the other is waiting to hear “I love you.” Neither one is wrong — and neither one is failing to love. They’re speaking different love languages, shaped by different cultures. Most articles about the 5 love languages treat culture as a tourist curiosity: “in Japan it’s like this, in Italy it’s […]
When Sexual Desire Falls Out of Sync After the Baby
Few things shake a couple’s intimacy like the arrival of a child — especially when it comes to desire, which shifts for both partners, at different speeds, and almost always catches them off guard. I write this as a couples therapist, but also as someone who has walked through this desert in my own marriage. […]
Why Brazilian-American couples feel so disconnected
Disconnection in intercultural couples rarely begins with a lack of love. It starts much earlier—when there is no vocabulary to bridge two worlds within a single relationship. Over the years of working with Brazilian-American couples, a certain scene repeats itself often enough for me to know it’s no coincidence. A Brazilian partner tries to explain […]
The Question a Client Asked Me That Changed Everything
I had been doing couples therapy for a few months when a client asked me a question I couldn’t answer. Her question sent me down a path that completely changed how I work with couples on the brink of divorce. Note: The story below is real. Names and identifying details have been changed to protect […]
Why Couples Therapy Fails — And What Actually Works
After years sitting with couples in crisis, I’ve noticed something most therapists won’t say out loud: a lot of couples therapy doesn’t work. Not because the couples don’t care. Not because the therapist isn’t trying. But because the approach itself is built on a flawed assumption. I want to tell you about a couple I […]
What Years of Working with Intercultural Couples Taught Me About Love, Language, and Disconnection
In 2018, I started working with immigrant families in the Greater Boston area. My wife and I provided weekly in-home therapy visits — showing up at people’s homes, supporting parents, and strengthening the bond between them and their children. What I saw in those homes changed the way I understand relationships. One of the most […]