The 5 Love Languages for Intercultural Couples
One cooks in silence; the other is waiting to hear “I love you.” Neither one is wrong — and neither one is failing to love. They’re speaking different love languages, shaped by different cultures. Most articles about the 5 love languages treat culture as a tourist curiosity: “in Japan it’s like this, in Italy it’s […]
When Sexual Desire Falls Out of Sync After the Baby
Few things shake a couple’s intimacy like the arrival of a child — especially when it comes to desire, which shifts for both partners, at different speeds, and almost always catches them off guard. I write this as a couples therapist, but also as someone who has walked through this desert in my own marriage. […]
Why Brazilian-American couples feel so disconnected
Disconnection in intercultural couples rarely begins with a lack of love. It starts much earlier—when there is no vocabulary to bridge two worlds within a single relationship. Over the years of working with Brazilian-American couples, a certain scene repeats itself often enough for me to know it’s no coincidence. A Brazilian partner tries to explain […]
The Question a Client Asked Me That Changed Everything
I had been doing couples therapy for a few months when a client asked me a question I couldn’t answer. Her question sent me down a path that completely changed how I work with couples on the brink of divorce. Note: The story below is real. Names and identifying details have been changed to protect […]
Why Couples Therapy Fails — And What Actually Works
After years sitting with couples in crisis, I’ve noticed something most therapists won’t say out loud: a lot of couples therapy doesn’t work. Not because the couples don’t care. Not because the therapist isn’t trying. But because the approach itself is built on a flawed assumption. I want to tell you about a couple I […]
What Years of Working with Intercultural Couples Taught Me About Love, Language, and Disconnection
In 2018, I started working with immigrant families in the Greater Boston area. My wife and I provided weekly in-home therapy visits — showing up at people’s homes, supporting parents, and strengthening the bond between them and their children. What I saw in those homes changed the way I understand relationships. One of the most […]